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How can I protect my family from my terrible sister-in-law?

Long story short: my brother married THE most selfish, self-centered, childish, tantrum-ing, BRAT of a woman. my entire family does NOT like her, and she has dragged my brother through the mud in so many ways. the first time our family even heard about her was when my brother said "here's my girlfriend...she's pregnant", then got married a couples years later, had another baby, bought a new-construction house (which they couldn't afford), immediately after had to file for bankruptcy, borrowed THOUSANDS of dollars from my parents, then faced foreclosure, and moved into my parents house RENT FREE, with their 2 children, and decided it would be a good time to have a third child...while still living at my parent's house, and after my brother quit his job! not only has this been a financial strain on my parents, but their COMPLETE lack of appreciation or help has now caused severe health risks to my father. recently, he was diagnosed with cancer, and their house has become so incredibly FILTHY!! (if you've ever seen the show "how clean is your house?", THAT'S how bad it is!!) well, i've decided that since my dad's first surgery is in a few weeks, and my parents are going to visit my GOOD brother in Florida for a week, it would be a good time for us all to get together and clean the house for my dad while they're away. it's an EXTREMELY big job, and we definitely need all the help we can get! MY husband (who works 3 jobs, and has also battled cancer), is fully willing to help out, but my sister-in-law, is more concerned with relaxing on her "days off", than rolling up her sleeves, and helping make the house better for my dad. (and when i say filthy, i'm talking MOLD, and MILDEW, and a slew of bacteria and diseases EVERYWHERE). with every suggestion i make, my brother keeps throwing up road blocks to try to wriggle out of helping or doing any REAL work! this is something that NEEDS TO BE DONE for my dad, and the job is WAAAY TOO big for me and my husband to do alone, so how to i encourage them to help, without COMPLETELY bitching them out? (which is what i feel like doing.) i am scared to death that in my dad's fragile state, he'll come home from the hospital on the way to recovery, only to have complications because he caught something from their FILTHY house. PLEASE HELP!!! in the past, i have bitched my brother out for their selfishness, neglectful parenting practices, among other things. i am the only one in my family who is not afraid to speak my mind, and say what everyone else just says behind their back. so, again, i have no fear of busting out the claws over this. HOWEVER, it think it would be counter-productive to yell for THIS situation, because they are both so stubborn, they will just NOT help at all if they think i'm "judging" them. so, i have been talking to my brother, and made it clear that THIS IS FOR DAD, and NOT FOR ME. so far, i have had positive and optimistic attitude and manner while talking to them. i've really playing the sympathy, and fear cards, and unfortunately, i had to play the "remember when my husband had cancer?" card. but, i've repeatedly said that i am very concerned for dad's health if we don't do something.

Public Comments

1. There is no way that you have not already tried so go ahead and bitch them out as you said. They don't understand being nice so let them know exactly how not you but everyone feels. No one should endure as much pressure and mess that your parents have from their anyone let alone their children.
2. Tell them like it is. The house is not a healthy environment for your Dad to come home to and you need their help regardless. You are doing it for your Dad and they should too.
3. my my. looks like you need the following: 1. syringe 2. Sleeping substance 3. Strong rope and nails 4. masking tape 5. sledgehammer/axe 6. sturdy basement with soundproof door THE REST LIES UP TO YOUR CREATIVITY (if you're not to bright, what i basically mean is kill them)
4. It sounds like your brother is as dirty and filthy as his wife is. Sounds like they were ment for each other. I think your dad needs to step up to the plate and kick all of them out. This way, they can continue living in a filthy house themselves and not with your family. As far as the sister-in-law issues go, let it go. If they purchased a house that was way over their budget, it was most likely your brother's fault since he is the man of the house. Your family should have taught him how to manage money wisely so that when they do see something they like, they don't go crazy buying it and he doesn't give in to her either. Maybe you should move your dad into your house until he is fully better. I wouldn't even bother cleaning his house until they are gone.
5. You can't force them to help. My father in law died several years ago, and my mother in law was disabled (confined to a wheelchair) and she had family coming into town for my brother in law's wedding. Her house was absolutely disgusting!! Every surface in her house was either sticky, covered in mold or so cluttered you couldn't see what was under the clutter. No one in the family would clean her house, so I had to do it by myself. I spent 6 hours a day there for about 3 weeks, it was really bad. She and I didn't even get along, in fact we hated each other! To give you an idea of how evil she was, I lost a baby and she told me she was glad. Anyway, my brother in law and his fiance would not help at all. They said they were too busy planning the wedding. My husband was working 70 hours a week, so obviously he couldn't do it. My in-laws never thanked me or even recognized what I did for them. So basically, my point is, you may have to do it yourself. Some people are completely selfish and unwilling to help.